I’ve been struggling with my blog. I’ve hardly posted anything and I’ve been feeling terrible about it. It’s not progressing into the big dream I envisioned. Not because I can’t think of anything to write. I’ve actually written a bunch of posts and just never posted them. Wait, wha?? I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but it just didn’t feel right hitting the Post button. It was driving me crazy because I have all kinds of ideas and big plans for this blog and then… (waah waah)… nothing. So I’d write and brood and feel guilty. “I just need to work harder”, I told myself. “I need more discipline. I need more time. These posts need to be better”. So I wrote and didn’t post. Time and again...
And then I heard Shenee Howard say these words on Nicole Antoinette’s podcast:
"You aren't a problem that needs solving."
Light bulb! I instantly realized why I couldn’t get posting. Putting up information on my blog made me feel like I was selling out. On the one hand, I’m proclaiming that women need to celebrate themselves right now, as is and that we are all good enough and perfect already. And then bam, I’m creating blog posts on how to change or how to be better, or to try this or read that. It just didn’t mesh and my subconscious knew it. You aren’t a problem that needs solving.
There’s so much information bombarding us all the time, from every place, that we aren’t good enough and how to be better, in every possible way. That somehow, whatever we are isn’t as good as we could be. That if we buy this thing or take this course it will fix us and save us and life will be awesome. *sigh* I’ve fallen into that trap. Lots. I love learning and I’m easily seduced by the self-improvement bandwagon. But as much as I like learning, I’m finding all of the “advice” exhausting and guilt-inducing. Is there no place that doesn’t want to change me or sell me something? And so it all comes back to the message, “You aren’t a problem that needs solving.” Because you aren’t, and neither am I.
I don’t want my blog posts to make women feel like something’s wrong with them. Like I have the magic insight, or some antidote to your troubles. I don’t. I don’t even have the answers to my own problems, never mind anyone else’s! I never want to be a “know-it-all” and I’m especially not an expert on most things. You are you and your experiences and circumstances are completely unique. Anything I talk about is completely from my perspective and not intended to be “advice” or “a solution” for anyone. I am glad if you can relate to what I write, but I am in no way ever trying to make anyone feel inadequate or that what I post is “the way”. Nope. My hope is to share my ideas and maybe they’ll resonate with you. And maybe they won’t. It’s all me, just my perspectives, just my sharing. Take what you like and please forget the rest like a one-hit-wonder. Trust yourself, you know what’s right for you. You aren’t a problem that needs solving.
So now my intentions and actions are aligned. I’m not trying to change you. I don’t want to give you advice. I’m not here to motivate you or make you better. I just want to share my ideas and maybe connect with you. I’m trying to bring you information that’s in line with my overall guiding principle of celebrating the greatness of women. Just as you are. Acknowledging that you’re the whole package already. Maybe you’ll read something and think, yep, I feel the same way. But, for the love of shoes, do not feel guilty about not doing enough, or being enough, or having enough. Because you already are all you need. You aren’t a problem that needs fixing.