This blog has been living in my head for a LONG time and I have many posts written on paper and big ideas for topics. In my mind, they are fabulous! But really, all that great stuff means shizzle if it stays in my head and never actually makes it out into the real world. I have been keeping them safe from criticism and protecting my vulnerability by never letting them out of my padded bubble. It is so clear to me what I want this Blog and website and entire business to be - I believe in my heart and soul the importance of celebrating the greatness of women, and I know my paintings can't do it alone. They need a voice. They need a blog.
But my tricky little mind has paralyzed me and all the posts that are ready to go have never REALLY been ready to go - not to the standard that I see them so clearly in my mind: Where everyone who reads them is entertained and enlightened and empowered…yikes.
And then it hit me. I had been saying the words I needed to hear very regularly and completely believed in them - for my kids….(commence eating humble pie….). You see, my littlest guy is a superstar when it comes to a lot of things, like sports and math. But there are some things he struggles with and he throws a tantrum like a 2-year old when he tries something new and isn't getting the gold star for it right off the bat. He feels like he SHOULD be a superstar, at everything, ALL THE TIME. So what do I do? - I remind him that how could it be perfect the first time he does something? He needs to practice a bit and he WILL get better. Just like all the times before when he was a beginner and kept at it and became the superstar he saw in his mind. Just start and keep trying.
Oh boy. OK Mom….time to practice what you preach. Those blog posts won't be superstars until you actually DO them and practice being a writer (…ummmm did you notice I'm a PAINTER…not a writer? My sister is the writer, not me...). Just start. Yes, of course I can do this….I'm just writing. I'm not battling a terrible disease or wondering where my next meal will come from. It's just writing. Pretty unscary when you look at it that way. I'm thankful that this is considered a big fear in my life…I am grateful.
So, here I go. This blog is taking off; perhaps not with the fanfare I had imagined, but it's out there, flaws and vulnerability and all. I Am Fine Art. Thank you Colin. xo