I'm not much of a resolution maker. Probably because I've been a better resolution breaker than keeper. *sigh* So, in lieu of the resolution I'm opting for a single intentional word for the year. This year, the word "intention" keeps showing up in my life, right on queue. OK, Universe - I'm paying attention! "Intention", it is.
And intentionally is exactly how I want to live my life, every part of it. With attention and purpose. Being proactive instead of reactive. Having presence in whatever the moment is. To have focus on what I'm doing rather than pulling myself in a million directions and feeling like busy = productive, multitasking yet never accomplishing anything in a way that feels good, peaceful, and satisfactory (frantic, half-assed and just-in-time are more accurate reflections of how I usually git 'er done). What invariably happens is that I'm caught in the whirlpool of too many things to do because they are all half started and not much to show for it all. Again, *sigh*.
Most of my adult years feel like I've been carried along by life rather than intentionally designing and creating the life that I want. Not that I have a crappy life - I've been blessed with a wonderful life. I am grateful for everything that it is. I just want my mind to line up with what's happening on the outside and focus on cutting out the extraneous nonsense and giving my precious, time-sensitive energy to worthy efforts. I want to feel proud of accomplishments that I have intentionally created, with calm, clarity, and quality.
From grandiose plans, like creating a global community for celebrating the greatness of women, to being the kind of Mom who gets in the pool to play with her kids. I want every bite of food that I put into my mouth to be consciously eaten. I want to design my life, rather than just get through the days. I don't want to wait for vacations for my real living to happen. I want it everyday.
I know this won't be easy, because the easy (lazy) way is what I've been doing- reacting to obligations. I'm not a compulsive Type A person; it's hard for me to make plans and stick with them day after day. I'm a right brain person. My mind works like my paintings - all swirly and mixed up, with a lot of layers and do-overs. I have lots of ideas and possibilities oozing out, but they are sometimes short on action. Stephen Pressfield says this is a real thing called "Resistance". He wrote The War of Art (which is a great book for anyone, not just artists), and explains that resistance shows up as a universal force against us anytime we attempt anything worthwhile, or try to establish new habits, or change the status quo - like create art or maintain an exercise regime or learn something new. Awareness and expectation that resistance will show up are half the battle. And knowing that it's very clever and sounds a lot like our wise, logical, protective selves are its weapons against our progress in getting the work done. "The dishes need to be done, you have to respond to all those emails, the kids really should have your attention as much as humanly possible, you have to get ready for all those upcoming activities, the laundry is growing...and on and on and on". There will always be some logical reason that something or someone else need your attention and energy more than you do. And BAM - resistance reigns again and your plans are sidelined. I know, it happens to me ALL the time and then the obligations that resistance so smoothly presented to me are followed by guilt for never getting to my own work. Well, I say, "shut the front door, resistance. I'm on to you and know your tricky ways. I'm going to make my plans and stick with them; even when I feel tired, even when the house needs my attention, even when the guilt comes, and especially when it feels uncomfortable, because I know on the other side of that decision to quit or keep going is disappointment or the life I want to live."
And there it is - my commitment to you, the Universe and myself that 2016 will be one of intention. I'm ready, resistance. Bring it.
Sending you Big Love and Gratitude and everything you intend for 2016.